1. Unless they suffered from alcoholism
2. They are devout Southern Baptists/Muslims/other alcohol-banning religion
It's easy, they'll appreciate it and it's really easy.
I'll call this, "Thick Hair's Cheers for Christmas", or something cheesey like that.
-# of champagne splits, based on your gift-receiving population.
*here is where you can save big. I was moments away from going with Cooks, a classy $7.99 for 4 splits, when BFF Jenna reminded me I was thinking college drunk and not professional drunk, good call Sebastian (janikowski reference dating back to JH). I stepped up and went with Korbel, $14.99 for 4. Feel free to use various spirits or brands, based on your budget and your company.
these they have at the dollar store, if you didn't already know, the dollar store is a mecca for stuff that doesnt need to last forever/gets thrown out after 1 use (ie wrapping paper, costumes and pregnancy tests - no but really, they sell them at my dollar store in the check out line). mine also came with small individual gift tags as to avoid any passing out (of the gifts, not your co-workers fainting) confusion.
they also have this at the dollar store, but would eat food from the dollar store? splurge here and get the good Christmas dove in pretty foils
- Christmas cards
I went with the mega-pack that I liked the most and was sure to write, "cheers to a prosperous 2012" on every card - to keep the them in theme.
wrap each bottle in tissue and put 1 per bag. Include some Dove goodness and voila! the perfect Christmas cheer for everyone.
after passing out the cheer (or mailing in my case), sit back, relax and imagine you co-workers giving you snaps for being creative and giving the gift everyone loves: a free buzz.